


butterfly's repose

by orphan_account



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Best Friends Huening Kai & Kang Taehyun, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Beta Read, Parties, Soulmates, Underage Drinking, fraternities, kind of introspective, lots of music references, more tags to come, mostly linear narrative, or are they?, side taejun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25996426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: when it nears three in the morning and yeonjun drops by to inform the two of them that he’s taking taehyun back to their dorm, kai starts standing up so that he can head home with them. beomgyu curls his nimble fingers around the younger boy’s wrist, the blonde boy pulling himself upwards so that he can tell kai face to face that he had a good night and would like to do this again.in another world, kai could have leaned in and left a quick, lingering kiss on the older boy’s lips, a gesture that would express all the things kai couldn’t say because he didn’t fully understand them yet. however, in this one, it wasn’t his place to do so-- not yet, at least. in all likelihood, it might have never been his place to.but that night, kai retreats with a half wave and beomgyu’s contact newly inputted into his phone, and it’ssomething. for them, it’s a start.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin, Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai, Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. intro

“sometimes, i just feel like i’m waiting for the world to end,” kai laughs, voice laced with an underlying emotion that can only be described as bitter. it hurts to speak; that much is evident from the raspy, hoarse noises that escape from his throat. kai chokes on air, and wonders if he’s become allergic to life in itself.

“maybe... maybe it already has,” the younger boy continues after a moment, a wry smile plastered onto his face. he pays no attention to the few tears rolling down his cheeks.

“it hasn’t, hyuka. i swear it hasn’t,” taehyun says, voice low. the slightly older boy seems almost speechless, a surefire rarity for him, and kai would probably be poking fun at the fact that he managed to make taehyun go silent if it wasn’t for the fact that his heart felt like it had been ripped in two.

it’s painfully ironic, kai figures, the fact that society was so critical of cliches at times. sure, kai was only human, and he liked-- even loved-- a good romcom, but he knew that they weren’t always the peak of film artistry. they were cute and cheesy and a fine time to watch, but that was about it from an objective standpoint. kai was always hesitant to dip his toe too far into cliches, especially with his songs, which he was constantly fine tuning at the request of his professors. if a lyric seemed too cliche, too simple, it was immediately changed in favor of something more polished and realistic, so to say. kai followed this practice dutifully; he wanted his pieces to invigorate people, breathing life and emotions into the deepest crevices of their being, the ones that most usually blocked off, sometimes without even knowing. kai looked to make people feel things, but what that emotion was, whether it was joy or pity or fury or dejection, was up to said individual. to him, predictability was always viewed to be enemy number one; kai wanted to innovate. 

despite his teachers’ insistence otherwise, kai realizes that cliches exist for a reason. in his seventh grade english class, kai read a book called “the kite runner”, and even though he had merely brushed it off as a child, one of the lines simply hits a little too close to home now. 

_“i always thought cliches got a bum rap. because, often, they’re dead-on. but the aptness of the cliched saying is overshadowed by the nature of the saying as a cliche.”_

“maybe not for anyone else,” kai replies. with how ragged he sounds, kai feels like he’s croaking more than he’s speaking.

“my life, my world-- he’s about to walk away from me. and that’s just it; he’s not gone yet, but i know he’s leaving.”

kai fumbles with the hem of the creme-colored sweater that he’s wearing. it’s beomgyu’s. 

“no matter how much i try to convince myself otherwise, he’s practically already out the door and i can’t do anything to stop it. the only thing i can do is just watch as it happens,” kai admits, trying not to press the sleeves to his eyes; he doesn’t want to risk wetting the material. still, the tears just keep coming, and taehyun looks almost astounded. kai can’t blame the older boy; heartbreak seemed to be a new badge that he wore on his sleeve.

kai’s heart is already on the floor, he thinks. it’s fallen right out of his body, now on display for everyone to see just how broken it, and he, is. kai’s never been the most open of books, instead always being one to make the choice to safeguard the most raw of his emotions, but there’s nothing for him to hide any longer. there’s seemingly no point.

kai’s heart has been stomped on a million times throughout his life; he knows that it’s just the way that the world works. yet somehow, every other time, the pieces would find their way back together. lately, beomgyu would be the one helping glue them back on.

this is the one time where kai feels like it’s shattered beyond repair. the fragments of red-tinted glass that once composed his heart are haphazardly strewn across the ground, and kai pricks his fingers whenever he tries to gather them back up.

his life has suddenly become a cliche, one of the very ones that he was so dead set on trying to avoid. 

\--

beomgyu and kai met in university; kai was a mere nineteen years of age, and beomgyu was twenty, soon turning twenty-one. they were both enrolled in their college’s school of performing arts and music, with kai studying piano performance and songwriting, while beomgyu was majoring in dance education. they met through mutual friends at a frat party that taehyun had dragged his younger friend to that fall semester. such an event wasn’t necessarily kai nor taehyun’s scene, but the latter had promised yeonjun that he’d show up and promptly decided that kai was coming along too. kai is far from surprised when he ends up third wheeling the two soulmates halfway through the night, but he just sips at his drink (soda, not alcohol, because yeonjun’s frat had been dealing with one too many warnings from their university about the mass amounts of underage drinking that takes place at these parties) and tries his best to ignore the two lovebirds that he’s been stuck hanging out with. kai rolls his eyes as he watches yeonjun and taehyun play pool out of the corner of his vision, with the two boys being completely wrapped up in one another. it was a sight that had become more than familiar to kai, and although he was sure to give the couple just the right amount of hellish behavior for indirectly forcing him to third wheel, kai (not so secretly) appreciated them a lot more than he let on. their everlasting presence in his world was a welcome attraction for the youngest boy. it was one that kai sought after, but the universe seemed to act as an exclusionist and prevent kai from getting just that.

well, kai always wanted things that he couldn’t have-- from the giant molang plushie he saw at the local mall in the summer before his junior year of high school, to the loaf of bread sitting in the window of a certain bakery on their college campus (he unfortunately had a sensitivity to gluten). it doesn’t mean that he always pursued said things, but he did endure that pulsing feeling of desire running through his blood. 

_kai wanted, and he gave so much in the hope that maybe someone would want him back._

after half an hour or so, a shorter blonde boy suddenly comes stumbling into the basement, an action that reveals his slightly drunk nature. when he reaches the bottom of the stairs, the blonde stops in his tracks as he takes note of the shadows reflecting on the walls of the big, open room, coming to the realization that there are already a few bodies standing down there.

“is yeonjun down here?” the blonde boy blurts out, squinting his eyes slightly as he takes a peek around. yeonjun immediately sticks up a hand from where he’s leaning on the pool table.

“right here, gyu.”

“oh,” beomgyu glances to the side, trying his hardest not to stare at the two unfamiliar boys that are standing next to yeonjun. “these are your friends?”

the three of them freeze at the straightforward question, but yeonjun eventually breaks the silence when he gives the blonde boy a quick nod. “yeah. this is taehyun,” yeonjun starts, pointing over to the smaller pink-haired boy who he’s standing next to. “and that’s kai,” yeonjun gestures to the taller of the two underclassmen who he had taken downstairs. “guys, this is beomgyu. he lives on the same floor as me.”

taehyun and kai murmur polite but slightly awkward hellos at the evidently tipsy blonde boy. yeonjun takes note of such a fact and starts separating himself from taehyun, quickly walking over to the boy he calls gyu.

kai glances at taehyun, who simply shrugs as the two frat boys exchange hushed words. 

“just stay down here,” yeonjun suddenly pipes up with a proposal, forehead knocking against beomgyu’s as he breaks their bout of whispering. “you guys would be okay with that, right?” the older boy asks, turning to face the two freshmen. taehyun and huening kai both shake their heads in affirmation.

“what are you guys doing?” the boy-- beomgyu-- asks, moving over to stand by the pool table. he ends up right by the spot where kai has been leaning on said structure.

“they’ve been playing pool for thirty minutes. taehyun has been teaching yeonjun,” kai informs the blonde, lazily sipping at his drink. kai wasn’t necessarily one to talk to strangers, but this seemed to be one of yeonjun’s closer frat brothers that he was always gushing about, and that gave them somewhat of a leg to stand on. plus, kai needed a means to escape being the third-wheel of his two friends, and beomgyu was about to be just that-- a way out.

“yeonjun’s good at pool though?” beomgyu immediately questions, lowering his voice to a volume that mirrors a whisper. the confusion that the blonde boy is experiencing becomes quite clear from his tone.

“yeah, i know,” kai says, exasperation written over his face. “he’s trying to impress taehyun.”

“we can hear you, you know?” yeonjun asks, cheeks flushed.

taehyun just lets out a laugh, throwing his head back while doing so. even with his face tinted a bright red color, a transparent indication of his own embarrassment, yeonjun still looks absolutely smitten with the sight of the pink-haired boy.

kai rolls his eyes for what feels like the one-hundredth time that very night. “yeah, i know,” he repeats to yeonjun. “that was kind of the point.”

“well, now that our plans have been ruined,” yeonjun bares his teeth at the youngest of the bunch for a full second, before turning back to taehyun. yeonjun manages to keep his eyes locked on the shorter boy as he sets down his pool cue on top of the table. “do you want to go back upstairs?”

taehyun glances at kai, who waves him off, urging the younger boy to go. “okay,” the pink-haired boy answers, and he lets yeonjun lead him out of the basement. the oldest gently grabs taehyun’s wrist, pulling him upstairs.

“you’re trying to impress me, huh?” is what beomgyu and kai make out amongst the pounding of their footsteps on the wooden stairs that lead down to the ground floor. kai can hear the smile in taehyun’s voice.

“ah, they have no idea what they’re talking about. don’t listen to them hyun,” yeonjun all but whines.

taehyun giggles. “don’t worry, i think it’s nice, but you’ve always impressed me even without trying.”

kai scoffs at taehyun’s comment; as if yeonjun needed another boost to his ego. however, he knows that his best friend is nothing but sincere. taehyun was absolutely head over heels for the older boy.

then the basement door is opening, allowing loud music to pour into the room-- “i like the song that’s on, if you want to dance,” yeonjun proposes when him and taehyun reach the top of the stairs-- before the two of them finally make their exit and the door is slamming shut behind them once again. the only noise from the party that reaches the bottom floor is that of the current song’s muffled bass, which is thumping through the speakers, and a few loud screams and laughs that become audible here and there.

“and then there were two…” beomgyu jokes, which elicits a chuckle from the youngest boy.

“yeah, well, i guess i should thank you. you helped get me out of watching them flirt,” kai shudders at the thought. “it was painful.”

“they’re dating?” beomgyu quirks an eyebrow. “yeonjun has never told me anything about your friend; he seems sweet though.”

kai figures as much, considering the way the oldest boy had introduced him and taehyun earlier, but he brushes it off. “yeah, something like that,” comes kai’s vague answer. “but taehyun’s cool. he’ll act tough at first, but don’t let him fool you; he’s really just a huge softie.”

“i see why they make a good match, then,” beomgyu replies, seemingly just taking this new knowledge in stride. “so, you want to get out of here?”

kai laughs again at the popular line. “that was abrupt, but what do you have in mind?”

“beer,” beomgyu answers honestly, lips curving up into a smirk. “are you legal?”

kai shakes his head pitifully. “nah, i’m still a freshman.”

“that sucks,” beomgyu grimaces. “i’m a sophomore, by the way, so i’m technically not of drinking age either. still, it could just be our little secret, if you want it to be.”

kai finds himself quickly agreeing. free alcohol was free alcohol-- he felt like he would be a fool to refuse it, especially with how harmless and genuinely friendly the shorter blonde boy seemed to be.

the two of them spend that night holed up in beomgyu’s second-floor bedroom in the house, splitting a six pack of some cheap beer that beomgyu had stolen from his older frat brothers. to kai’s surprise, it’s not too awkward of an interaction, especially since they both have drinks that they can use to distract themselves with during periodic lulls in the conversation. kai appreciates the fact that they don’t have to force themselves to speak; instead, they simply let their chat exist in a state of free flow as it comes and goes, which helps kai feel very natural and even at ease in the blonde’s presence. there’s an unspoken agreement to follow social cues and respect the shaky grasp that they have on the other’s conversational tendencies, which kai determines to be quite the rarity, especially amongst two, slightly drunk college students, who weren’t necessarily touted for their composure. however, kai quickly learns that beomgyu is nothing if not strikingly self-aware and mature, despite his peppy exterior.

“i just needed to get away,” beomgyu admits to the younger boy as he takes a swig from his second of the glass bottles that he had cracked open. “it was just too stuffy out there, you know?”

huening kai nods along without another thought. “yeah, i get it,” the younger boy replies, almost absentmindedly. he’s not fully comfortable, and feels slightly lacking in comparison to the shorter boy, who seemed so personable and greatly in command of his ability to connect and carry a conversation, but kai learns that beomgyu has this way of letting people know that he understands; that night, the blonde frat boy’s grin just softens around the edges, turning more and more toothey when he brings the beer bottle down away from his lips.

kai finds that he really enjoys beomgyu’s company. the older boy was talkative-- a quality that seemed to wane as the night continued, as they grew more intoxicated and became more tired-- but not in a manner where it became obnoxious in any way. no, beomgyu didn’t speak just to take up space; kai always found what the older boy said to be interesting, meaningful, and thought-provoking. for kai, it was riveting; everything about beomgyu was as refreshing as the sensation of the cool beer that they were drinking sliding down his throat (kai wasn’t particularly fond of the taste of beer, but with so many bodies crowded into one room, parties got absolutely sweltering and he jumped at the chance of a cold drink).

not to mention the fact that kai found beomgyu to be quite attractive as well (a fact for which the younger boy silently defends himself with the statement that he does have eyes, so it was only logical that he noticed how pretty beomgyu was-- who wouldn’t? kai questions, trying to best his own mind in this current bout of internal conflict that he’s experiencing). however, kai still knows that it’s not his place-- sure, beomgyu was in fact very good looking, but then again, there was so much more that went into sharing such ideas in their world. so kai stays quiet about these pesky thoughts of his, but he lets himself engage with beomgyu for the rest of the party, soaking up the older, blonde boy’s smiles and not flinching away, but leaning into his touch when beomgyu laughs so hard that he collapses, practically falling into kai’s lap. as the night winds down, kai realizes that he was genuinely looking forward to seeing the older boy again-- if he ever would-- because he wants another chance at this, to experience beomgyu’s all consuming warmth once more. it’s a terrifying thought for the youngest. 

when it nears three in the morning and yeonjun drops by to inform the two of them that he’s taking taehyun back to their dorm, kai starts standing up so that he can head home with them. beomgyu curls his nimble fingers around the younger boy’s wrist, the blonde boy pulling himself upwards so that he can tell kai face to face that he had a good night and would like to do this again. 

in another world, kai could have leaned in and left a quick, lingering kiss on the older boy’s lips, a gesture that would express all the things kai couldn’t say because he didn’t fully understand them yet. however, in this one, it wasn’t his place to do so-- not yet, at least. in all likelihood, it might have never been his place to.

but that night, kai retreats with a half wave and beomgyu’s contact newly inputted into his phone, and it’s _something_. for them, it’s a start.

\--

“beomgyu’s asking for you,” taehyun mentions one afternoon, after the two of them had finished up all of their classes for the day and were just lounging in the dorms. “he wants you to come out more often with the rest of us.”

“you guys have still been hanging out?” kai asks, quirking an eyebrow. beomgyu hadn’t even known who he nor taehyun were before that party a month ago, and kai hadn’t seen the older boy more than a handful of times since that day; he hadn’t even taken the initiative to reach out and shoot beomgyu a text (the blonde was seemingly always the one to initiate their scattered conversations). kai would like to say that he wasn’t avoiding the older boy, but that would be a lie; he was doing exactly that and he knew it.

for lack of a better term, huening kai can admit that he’s a little bit of a coward. he just never knows quite how to act when he likes a person; he figures that his best bet is to put as much distance between himself and said individual until the initial attraction wears out and they can be just friends. eventually, that new friendship will go through the motions until, like all things, it dies down, where it fades out into the background of kai’s life until it’s too faint to even see any longer. by the end, any traces of that bond previously being there, of it being tangible, are nonexistent in nature-- the only indications that such an development was real once upon a time lied within kai himself, stored in his mind with the rest of his memories about relationships (ones that encompassed all of the various meanings of said word) that had gone through their ‘circle of life’ and promptly became nothing more than a token of the past. 

whatever he was feeling for beomgyu from their scarce interactions would end eventually, the younger boy figured; he just had to wait it out. it would be much easier that way.

“yeah, we’ve see each other a bunch lately, but he’s only been coming though because he hopes you’ll show up,” the slightly older, pink-haired boy explains in a very matter-of-fact tone. taehyun was like that-- almost impossibly blunt when he wanted to be. 

“oh,” kai feels his cheeks heating up the slightest bit. he stutters when he tries to think of a viable response to taehyun’s claim, because what was he supposed to say when taehyun sprung that on him?

_(kai thinks that it was easier when taehyun didn’t know, but of course taehyun found out; the two of them weren’t jokingly called each other’s soul-matches-- not to be confused with the more prevalent term of a soulmate-- for no reason. so taehyun noticed first; he was the one to recognize beomgyu’s efforts for what they were and made sure to pay special attention to how him and kai were dancing around one another, despite the way the forces of gravity seemed to keep pulling them into each other’s orbits.)_

“you don’t have to come by if you don’t want to,” taehyun continues in that soothing voice of his, one that has brought kai an immense amount of relief during their months together as roommates. “but he’s interested, if he hasn’t made that clear enough.”

kai doesn’t say much after that, just nods as a form of weak response. there’s a lot that he leaves unsaid: the question of if beomgyu is really interested or if he’s just looking for something that could be fun, just one question amongst the many why’s and what if’s that are whirling inside of kai’s mind. beomgyu was nice, sure, but if he was being completely honest, kai couldn’t say that he knew that much about the older blonde. he couldn’t completely decipher beomgyu’s motivations, and that in itself presented an almost impenetrable obstacle for kai to leap over, in addition to the pre-existing, inevitable ones-- the very barriers that subtly affected how kai acted towards the older frat boy since the first moment he had met him.

but the questions seem to paint their own scenarios of possibilities, ones that appear in swirling compositions of paint the once-blank canvas of his world, and it’s up to kai to figure out which ones have more substance outside of his own wishful thinking. the other paintings try to imitate the circumstances of his reality, but that’s all they are: creations, fleeting fantasy of sorts.

kai didn’t want to let himself fall into such a spell, one of hope. it would be far too risky.

\--

a dull, beige-colored post-it note is practically glaring back at kai from where it’s stuck to the front page of the latest composition piece that he had worked on. it stands out like a sore thumb against the crisp, monochromatic nature of the ink on kai’s paper, especially with his professor’s bright red pen marks scrawled across the entirety of the square-shaped sticky note. 

_“there’s so much good material here, but somehow, the song still feels hollow. it almost seems unfinished.”_

that first sentence scathes the freshman, who quickly skims through his teacher’s suggestions with a frustrated sigh. kai’s ire wasn’t necessarily directed towards her though-- no, he was more upset with himself than anything. he had been getting similar comments for years at this point, even in some of his music classes back in high school, but no matter what he did, kai’s work always just seemed to fall flat. while kai didn’t consider himself to be a huge perfectionist or anything of that sort, he was at college on a partial scholarship, and that came with a certain set of expectations that he was forced to uphold. this state of complacency, of his own mediocrity, simply wasn’t cutting it.

kai plops down at an empty picnic table in the “ville”, which is what he and his classmates had named their college’s town-like area, which houses a few shops and eateries. after grabbing a small smoothie from his favorite spot, kai returns to his chair and immediately pulls a notebook out of his bookbag, flipping by a few sheets until he finds the original draft for the lyric assignment that his teacher had just returned. after reading it through, kai turns to a fresh, clean page in the book and decides to do some writing practice; he knows it’ll be of use when the next project is announced. 

despite kai’s best efforts, he isn’t satisfied with any of the words that he fills this first page with over the next ten minutes. condensation is running down the side of his plastic drink cup, which kai had quickly emptied, and he glances back up at the smoothie shop, running a hand through his hair. kai hadn’t eaten lunch yet, and still had another half an hour until he had to go attend his next lecture, but while staring at the cafe’s front door from halfway across the quad, he spots a familiar face who is exiting the humanities building. 

there are certain signs that the universe can give, kai figures, because when beomgyu locks eyes with him from across the street, there’s a million things he feels compelled to write about. the older blonde boy offers kai a bright smile and a short wave before letting one of his frat brothers tug him away, presumably heading back to their house considering the route they’re taking, and kai returns the friendly gesture before watching them depart.

when beomgyu disappears from sight, kai scribbles down phrases about the light that people can radiate, about colorful auras, about the tiniest of gestures that still manage to fill one’s heart with warmth. he feels like a schoolgirl with a crush by doing so, but there’s something about these notes that are greatly reassuring; he couldn’t be sure that the lyrics they would create would be perfect nor poetic, but he did know that they would be real, at the very least, because they were purely a product of what he felt. and everything about beomgyu, in some strange, inexplicable way, made kai’s heart soar. 

_(kai doesn’t do much more with these lyrical tidbits until he gets a fitting prompt, where he proceeds to refine and eventually submit them. it’s a smaller assignment, so kai feels way more comfortable sending in these experimental lyrics for a task that won’t have as big of an impact on his grade, but to his shock, his teacher reacts rather positively. this time around, she uses an index card to give feedback, and only fifty percent of kai’s is filled with suggestions; the other half is blank, which kai regards as a truly beautiful sight._

_“hyun, she didn’t completely tear me apart this week!” kai gushes over the facetime call he had started as soon as he had left the lecture hall. he waves the index card at his phone screen as if taehyun could read it despite the crappy video quality, but kai can barely make out taehyun’s face as the pink-haired boy squints his eyes at the camera._

_taehyun laughs when kai’s comment sinks in. “thank god, it’s about time.”_

_“congratulations!” another voice pipes up from taehyun’s background._

_“thanks yeonjun!” kai chirps back instinctively. his professor was notorious for being tough; having taught a plethora of rather successful songwriters in a career that predated kai’s own birth made his teacher absolutely ruthless when it came to her grading. to kai, not feeling the urge to cry after emerging from her classroom was a huge win in his book._

_by some work of chance, it ends up being the highest numerical grade that kai earns in said class all year. he keeps the evaluation paper even after his fall semester ends; sometimes, he just needs to look at it as a reminder of his ability._

_he guesses you could say that having a crush has its perks. it’s something kai can still say without the slightest bit of hesitation or doubt: beomgyu’s entrance into his life was one of the best things to ever happen to him._

_kai lives in the present-- forever wasn’t a concept that he had the luxury of, it could never be anything but a dream to him-- and because kai is sure to exist in the moment, his best writing materializes in the heat of the moment. at that time, beomgyu had become his muse, and the proof was still tucked between the pages of his hefty, leatherbound notebook from freshman year.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i hope you liked chapter one of my newest fic. beomkai has been completely taking over my mind (to absolutely no one's surprise), so i've been working on this semi-indulgent story for a while. hopefully chapter one was at least somewhat enjoyable! i know beomkaists (and taejunists, hello my people) are constantly in a drought so this is my attempt at adding some *oomph* to the tag. please take my subpar offering. <3
> 
> anyways! thank you for reading this vague intro. leave kudos or a comment if you have anything that you'd like to tell me. take care everyone!  
> twitter: @DECALCOMONlA


	2. interlude

it’s two weeks later that taehyun invites kai to come out to another party; this one isn’t at the frat house that yeonjun and beomgyu both belonged to, but instead takes place at a sister chapter, a sorority that their house was associated with. 

kai takes one glance at his desk, where an outline for his upcoming essay is sitting-- a music history essay, that is-- and is pulling on his shoes without a second thought. procrastination was a wonderful thing, it seems.

kai isn’t surprised when taehyun and yeonjun easily spot each other from across the house upon their arrival-- the two of them single-handedly seemed to prove the statement that soulmates were interconnected in some way, because they always had a scary good perception of where the other was at all times. sometimes, kai swears that they can read each other's minds (“no,” kai would sigh to taehyun the one time that he expressed this very thought of his. “i know you guys can’t though, because you’re still questioning if he really likes you when i swear you’re all that is probably ever on his mind,” the younger boy finishes with a grin. taehyun, who is holding a hot flat iron in his hand, wields it in the air like a weapon as a means of threatening his friend. kai just laughs, knowing that taehyun loves him too much to actually do anything).

taehyun throws an apologetic glance over his shoulder as yeonjun drags him off, the two of them moving deeper into the house, yet kai all but shoves taehyun away, considering the fact that the pink-haired boy immediately started beaming when he spotted yeonjun. taehyun was happy, and kai couldn’t be more glad. he deserved it.

kai turns away once he watches yeonjun and taehyun disappear out the back door, presumably to go play some party game of sorts. yeonjun had been bragging about how good he was at drinking games all week, but kai isn’t quite in the right mood to witness or join such a spectacle. instead, he starts moving towards the kitchen, a place where he figures he can just grab a cup and then hopefully retreat to someplace that’s a little more secluded.

as luck would have it, kai finds beomgyu in the kitchen. the older boy is perched on the island, swinging his legs over the side as he engages in conversation with a short, blonde-haired girl. kai freezes once he sees them, time seemingly stopping right before his eyes. 

“oh,” beomgyu grins when they meet each other’s gazes. “hi, kai. i didn’t know you’d be coming.”

“yeah, hyun brought me--” kai stops, glancing between the two of them. “it’s nice to see you.”

beomgyu seems to take note of kai’s apprehension, because he’s introducing the petite girl in an instant-- her name is gowon, kai learns, and she’s one of beomgyu’s best friends-- but she quickly excuses herself with a bright smile and hurries away. beomgyu is instantly jumping off of the counter once she leaves them alone, coming to stand right in front of kai.

“yeah, i’ve missed you around here. it’s been-- what-- two and a half weeks since i’ve last seen you?”

kai just winces. “yeah, i’ve been busy,” he answers, pulling a soft smile onto his face as he lets part of the truth fall from his lips.

“you work too hard,” beomgyu frowns. “taehyun has been telling me that you’ve barely been leaving your room except to go to class; you deserve to have a little more fun.”

“i will, just...later,” kai sighs. “i just have to wait until the end of the month, then everything will be over with.”

beomgyu purses his lips. “fine, but you can come to me if you ever need a break or something. my roommate last year had your major so i know firsthand how cutthroat it can be-- i’m just a call away if you need anything,” the older boy pauses for a moment before continuing.

“i’m glad you came out today, kai. i’ve been looking forward to this.”

kai is left a little speechless; it wasn’t everyday that someone seemed to be so genuinely concerned with him, nor so pleased to have him there. beomgyu was just like that, kai figures-- the older boy was incredibly nice.

“thanks,” kai smiles, tightening his lips against one another. “i’ll probably take you up on that offer of yours sometime,” he answers, and it’s the truth; he liked being around beomgyu. 

however, something kai wasn’t so partial to was the party at hand, especially when the dj turns up the music so that the bass is quite literally pumping throughout the entire house. kai winces when the next song, some loud, edm mix, starts blaring through the paper thin walls of the sorority’s kitchen. the older blonde’s eyes follow the motion of kai’s hands, which tighten around the red solo cup that he had picked up. 

“do you want to go?” beomgyu proposes, giving kai an uncanny sense of deja vu about the first night that they met. “do you want to get out of here, but for real this time?”

“you don’t want to stay?” kai asks, raising an eyebrow-- not in a way that’s judgemental, but just questioning. “i mean, didn’t the party only start an hour ago?”

“yeah, but--” beomgyu trails off, glancing around. “there’s not much here that interests me besides, well...”

beomgyu, cheeks flushed, makes eye contact with kai once again. “well, besides you.” 

“you don’t know me very much,” kai points out after a second, trying to prevent himself from coughing around the swig of his drink that he just took. “i’m kind of boring.”

“i disagree, but we can test that theory out,” beomgyu says, leaning his hip on the kitchen counter in a position that should be painful-- to kai, it looks like it is-- but the dancer seems undisturbed by the granite table corner that is digging into his skin. “i want to know you though, if that counts for anything.”

kai almost laughs at the bizarre statement. _no, you don’t._

“so, do you want to leave this place or not?” the older boy questions again when kai doesn’t speak up for a bit. the typical, ever so soft smile that beomgyu always seems to sport never once leaves his face, even as kai hesitates, mulling over his options for a quick second. still, he’s gone-- in all honesty, kai was agreeing with beomgyu before the older boy even asked.

“sure,” comes the younger boy’s final answer. he justifies his decision with the thought that there really isn’t much better to do, so the younger boy figures that he might as well just roll with it, but despite how much he may not want to admit it, kai quickly grows a level of trust for beomgyu. the blonde’s sincerity was embedded in every word he spoke, something kai found incredibly reassuring. it was a comfort that kai had been chasing since childhood, one that reminded him of the warmth he got from laying his head across his mother’s lap as he had once done so often, who would muss with his curly brown locks and press light kisses to his forehead. somehow, beomgyu’s demeanor managed to mirror that great deal of affection, but kai finds himself questioning just how aware the older boy is of that very fact. does he know the great effects that the smallest of his gestures have on kai?

but beomgyu just holds out his pinky, his grin widening as he does so, and it gives kai an opportunity to link his with the older boy’s, so who is he to refuse such a chance?

kai’s pinky hooks onto beomgyu’s, the two of them intertwining and locking their palms together. right then, kai lets himself wonder if maybe beomgyu feels it too-- the electric current shooting through kai’s veins and the tingling, warm feeling that is fluttering on the pads of his fingers. it’s foreign in the sense that kai hasn’t felt like this in a very, very long time, but he allows himself to indulge in it, even if he believes that it’ll only be present for that night. 

though as kai would soon learn, choi beomgyu was full of surprises.

\--

beomgyu brings kai back to his own frat house, which is almost completely empty considering the fact that almost all of the boys living there were at the party the two of them had just left. the older boy unlocks the door to the third floor patio, telling kai to wait there while he runs to his room.

beomgyu comes back with a small pack of cigarettes, a bag of chips-- his favorite kind, kai notes-- and new clothes; the older boy had changed out of his party garb and was now sporting a pair of fitted joggers rather than the skintight leather pants he had on previously. kai laughs at the sight.

“i see you’re really dressing to impress with me,” he teases good-naturedly as beomgyu sets down the snacks, shuffling it closer to kai so it was within his arms reach. the first thing that beomgyu had asked kai when they entered the frat home was if the younger boy had eaten, and kai hadn’t, but beomgyu wasn’t allowed around a stove without supervision after a certain fiasco his freshman year that the older blonde refuses to disclose specific details about, so this was the best the two of them would get. kai accepts the food graciously.

“don’t worry, my face will certainly do all the talking,” beomgyu insists with a grin, then throwing the pack of cigarettes onto the small table that sits next to the lounge chair kai is leaning on. “take one if you want, i don’t mind.”

kai shakes his head. “i don’t smoke, but you can go ahead.”

“it doesn’t bother you?”

“nope,” the younger boy affirms, leaning further back against the cushioning lying behind him as he brings a chip to his mouth. “it’s okay with me, i swear.”

beomgyu keeps his eyes locked on kai for the entirety of the time when he is drawing a cigarette from the box. it’s an action that the older boy is all too familiar with, but this time, beomgyu is almost tentative with his movement, wanting to see if he could sense any discomfort in the boy sitting opposite of him. but the silence looming between them isn’t frighteningly awkward, and kai takes the time to glance off into the distance-- the balcony had a great view of their school’s greek row, which was much better looking than the dorms that kai was used to-- where the sun has almost finished setting, making the sky appear a rich orange, one that bled into a deeper magenta the further out you looked, in color.

“i hope you like the chips,” beomgyu blushes, his attempt at furthering the conversation. “taehyun mentioned that you liked them once.”

“i do, thank you,” kai says. “it’s sweet of you to remember.”

“of course,” beomgyu answers, and there’s so much weight to that one phrase that it makes kai a little dizzy. 

it’s not surprising though-- beomgyu speaks like he lives: unabashedly and with so much belief; it’s nonsensical and a little naive, maybe, but kai isn’t one to judge. and if he did, he would view it as a positive. these ways in which beomgyu kept proving to be a standout, all of these surefire rarities amongst their classmates, just made him more intriguing to the younger boy. 

it’s why kai doesn’t hold back from letting giggles slip through his lips or firing off quick jokes that even have beomgyu stumbling off of his chair during the two hours they’re sitting outside; being with beomgyu felt like living out the notorious tales of all those true college experiences that kai hadn’t gotten to so far, the ones of youthful glow and carefree adventuring and holding someone close because you just enjoyed them that much, to the point where you never wanted to let them go.

kai kind of felt like that. and still, he’s unsure how good he is at expressing what he feels, despite his major and years of practicing doing just that-- conveying emotions. it’s almost ironic, kai thinks.

but beomgyu doesn’t seem to notice-- or maybe he doesn’t care, naturally accepting of the younger boy’s shortcomings because that’s just the kind of person beomgyu was, someone without a truly bad bone in his entire body-- and it kind of takes huening kai aback. 

“you’re really something, you know that?” is what beomgyu ends up saying halfway through the night, shuffling over to sit on the side of his lounge chair that lies next to kai’s. beomgyu doesn’t lean back, just sits up further, with his feet firmly planted on the concrete ground beneath them.

“what do you mean?” kai just laughs at the seemingly bizarre statement.

“i just think you’re special,” beomgyu smiles. “you’re just so...chill.”

kai groans. beomgyu laughs, nudging the younger boy’s foot with his own.

“no, no-- hear me out, i promise. i just mean, how many people agree to ditch a party they came to with a friend so they can go off with some stranger? twice!” beomgyu adds. “i don’t know, i think it’s cool how you just kind of go with the flow of things.”

“hey, i had my reasons! i mean, you did promise me free beer the first time,” kai points out, trying to hide the smile playing its way across his lips. “plus, i wouldn’t consider us strangers-- at least, not anymore. unless you do?” the younger boy asks hesitantly.

beomgyu shakes his head. “no, i don’t-- it’s good that you don’t either. but we definitely were at first.”

kai pouts. “you knew yeonjun.”

“yeah, who you share one class with,” beomgyu rolls his eyes. “you did introduce him and taehyun though, and he is always in your dorm, i’ll give you that, but still, i don’t know if i’d necessarily go out of my way to run off with a friend of a friend.”

“free beer,” kai rolls over on the lawn chair, onto his side so that he can look at the older boy. “i’m extremely motivated by rewards.”

“stop deflecting,” beomgyu remarks lightheartedly, folding his arms and leaning forward. there’s no malice in beomgyu's expression nor in his voice, but the older boy just looks thoughtful for a split second.

“want to know something? i thought you were cold at first,” beomgyu admits. “the quiet, brooding pianist vibes are strong with you.”

kai laughs, throwing his head back slightly as he does so, and beomgyu easily joins him in the act. beomgyu’s smile is so wide that it stretches across the entirety of the bottom portion of his face.

“and well, i was kind of right; you still kind of have that shy, nerdy artist thing going for you,” the older blonde smiles. “but now...”

“now?” kai echoes back, biting at his bottom lip. beomgyu’s eyes soften just the slightest bit, right around the edges.

“now, well-- exactly how much do you want to hear?” beomgyu asks. kai takes note of how the older boy’s eyes look like they’re sparkling.

kai quirks a brow.

“i could go on talking about you for a long while, kai, in case you couldn’t tell,” comes beomgyu’s response. “i think i’d go on forever if you don’t stop me.”

“oh, i’m getting picked apart today, aren’t i?” kai teases. “i guess you can go on; humor me. you’ve noticed all of this stuff from what, like five real meetings?”

“i’m minoring in psychology,” beomgyu shrugs cheekily, taking advantage of a stereotype associated with students in said field: that they were nosey and quick to over-examine anyone and everyone they came across. kai appreciates the subtle humor.

“plus, i pay attention to you,” the older blonde comments, tone much more serious now, and that throws kai for a loop.

“i’m sure you’ve analyzed a lot of people, then,” kai grins, trying to brush off the implications of such a sentence, but beomgyu just fixes him with a look that says everything.

“no-- i didn’t say that i pay attention to everyone, kai,” beomgyu refutes the younger boy’s claim. “like i said, i pay attention to you,” the older blonde ends his statement there.

it’s one of the things kai picked up immediately about beomgyu-- the older boy was either very flirty and very oblivious of that fact, or very flirty and very sure of what he was doing. kai didn’t know which one could be the truth at times; he didn’t think that someone like beomgyu would be actually invested in him, but then the older boy would look at kai with those glimmering eyes of his and kai suddenly forgets any and all logic.

“i don’t understand why,” kai shrugs, nonchalant and semi-joking in nature; it was easier that way. “i’m really not that worthy of your time.”

“you’re more of a catch than you give yourself credit for,” beomgyu shakes his head. “i don’t like this self-loathing thing you do; you’re a great guy, kai. you shouldn’t curl in on yourself.”

“i curl in on myself?”

“you would have ran away if i didn’t say hi in the kitchen today,” beomgyu points out, not skating around the truth for even a second. “tell me that i’m wrong.”

“you’re not,” kai agrees.

“yeonjun, taehyun, and i also hang out every day in between classes, you’re never there-- taehyun always says you’re busy,” beomgyu says, tone soft before it turns teasing. “you leave me to be a third wheel.”

“and that’s exactly why i am quote-unquote busy during that time,” kai grins. “i was tired of third-wheeling.”

“we could have been third-wheeling together, though,” beomgyu says, a smile on his face. “i would have liked that.”

“i-” kai cuts himself off, cheeks tinging pink. he’s getting flustered, and he hates it, but how could he not when beomgyu is looking at him so intensely. the older boy’s fluffy black locks are styled perfectly in a way that looks messy but purposeful, lips pursed in an expression that grows to be something partway between a smile and a smirk.

the line “ _i would too_ ” feels stuck in kai’s throat. people always reference having butterflies in their stomach, that twisting feeling that makes your knees go weak, but kai always feels them caught in his throat. their petals flap aimlessly against the back of his jaw, so desperate to get out but trapped just the same. it’s an overwhelming sensation.

“am i reading this wrong?” beomgyu asks suddenly, rubbing at his own knee. “tell me if i am, or if i’m going too fast, but you’re-- you’re sweet and cute and funny and i’d really like to take you out sometime.”

“no, beomgyu, you’re not reading this wrong,” kai all but chokes, answering far too quickly for his brain to mouth filter to work. the thought of wasting a split second and risking beomgyu thinking of him as uninterested made kai sick.

“it’s just-- well, your...” the younger boy trails off.

they both know what kai is about to say-- it’s quite obvious in fact, but the older blonde still waits for kai to actually say it anyway (and in the moment, the younger boy finds it slightly painful, but looking back, beomgyu was integral in getting kai to open up more. for that, kai would always owe a large sliver of gratitude to the older boy).

“your soulmate,” kai finishes after a moment, one where the silence stretches out between the two of them. 

_don’t you wait to wait for them?_

another unasked question, but it still echoes out-- knocking around the array of brick frat homes that surround beomgyu’s own. they both know it, both can hear it. the tension between them is palpable-- as evident as the way kai’s hands are shaking right before their eyes. and still, the younger boy continues speaking, steadfast in his resolve to move forward.

“i don’t have a soulmate,” kai rambles out, like it’s second nature-- and once he actually gets the words flowing, it is, because he’s had to run through this explanation for what feels like a million times prior to doing so with beomgyu. this exact conversation was the one that kai has had the most; sometimes, people didn’t even ask for his name nor his age, and would just come up to see if what they had heard was true, if he really was without a soulmate. kai doesn’t even know how the news spread-- high school gossip was a funny thing-- but it did, and it promptly followed him everywhere. he wasn’t bombarded with questions about his soulmate status every five seconds, no, but kai was approached by a few inquiring peers here and there. safe to say, it got old-- and annoying-- pretty fast. 

maybe that’s part of the reason why kai doesn’t talk to many people, why he keeps his circles small but close, because he grew tired of the questioning. once people knew, it was all they would seem to know about when it came to him; kai thinks it’s better left unsaid. 

to him, _brooding pianist_ sounds better than _forever alone._

but beomgyu, beomgyu who had been nothing but kind and understanding, who had sat with kai for hours at hand, who had talked about everything under the sun with the younger boy like they were each other’s closest confidants despite their mere handful of encounters, who had recognized things in kai that others took weeks or even months to, who had seen kai-- truly seen him, not as the one-dimensional recluse that most people thought he was, because outside of kai’s shy demeanor and quiet remarks, beomgyu had also seen kai for his wide, toothy smiles, seen him for the way the younger boy lit up at the mention of cute things, and the way he has the greatest affinity for historical fiction, so much so that he could gush about his favorite novels for years. beomgyu, who was the one to talk and carry their conversation after the two of them had first met, just until kai felt comfortable enough to speak openly with the older boy; kai thinks he’s the one who deserves to know.

so, this time, kai is the one who starts talking. he knows beomgyu will listen, just like he always has.

“i waited for the tattoo to show up but it never did.”

“and i don’t get involved in things because people usually think it’s fleeting,” the younger boy admits, further leaning his head back against the cushioned head of the chair. he’s staring at the stars.

“i’m bad at doing things for fun, at trying to forget and moving on,” kai continues, twiddling with his fingers on his lap. “i’m sorry, but i can’t do that anymore if that’s what you mean-- i just need something to be real, you know?. i don’t mean to be insensitive.”

“you’re not kai, god-- i can’t believe you’d even say that about yourself. please don’t apologize to me,” beomgyu shakes his head. there’s another short bout of silence that forms, one that only lasts a few seconds, but it rattles kai’s skull nonetheless.

“i don’t either,” beomgyu suddenly breaks the speechless spell that they’ve both fallen into, and kai’s head snaps up. 

“i don’t-- i don’t have a soulmate. so, i get you, kai. don’t worry-- i get you.”

“you’re--?” kai gapes, eloquent as ever.

“yeah,” beomgyu smiles, but it’s strained. “we’re one in the same; i’m a kenos too. literally or figuratively empty, in vain, all of that jazz,” the older boy continues, reciting the textbook definition of the phrase for someone who didn’t have a soulmate, and kai is stunned.

“i grew up in a really small town, you know?” beomgyu says, beginning his personal spiel. kai lets him do just that-- he knows that once you start going, it’s near impossible to stop. you feel like you need to get the words out, the ones with claws that beat at your chest. 

“so everyone i knew had a soulmate and stayed with them forever, or at least, that’s what i thought at first,” the older boy explains. “it wasn’t true of course, just a bunch of lies and quite a few facades that i had glossed over without a second thought when i was younger. still, i believed in all of this stuff so deeply at first that i was just incredibly angry when i didn’t get a soulmate tattoo,” beomgyu admits. 

“i was so furious, and all anyone around me could see was that rage, but it was really just to cover up how much pain i now felt at the thought that the universe didn’t have anyone for me to be with. i thought that the world didn’t want me to be with anyone, that everyone wanted me to die alone and without getting to love. it just seemed cruel.”

“it’s still hard sometimes,” beomgyu admits. “it’s difficult seeing everyone around you getting together all quick and easy-- the stars are on their side, for christ’s sake.”

“but...” beomgyu trails off, looking up at kai once again. “the universe led me here. so i guess it’s not doing that bad of a job, right?”

kai is knocked speechless.

“you’re the first kenos i’ve met that has been open about it,” beomgyu continues undeterred. “so you’re the only person that i’ve actually told any of that to, i guess. i was sort of scared to tell my friends.”

“i’m honored,” kai answers, suddenly finding his words. “uh, thank you, gyu. that was-- that was brave of you, really. you’re not alone in this.”

“no, thank you,” beomgyu answers breezily. “i guess i’m just trying to be more accepting of it, you know, and fully start believing the whole ‘i deserve love, even if i don’t have a soulmate’ thing. i’d like to get there someday.”

“me too,” comes kai’s honest reply, the youngest boy almost choking on his words. he earns a smile from beomgyu for that. the two of them don’t speak much about soulmates for the rest of the night-- they don’t gloss over the conversation nor pretend that it didn’t happen, but it’s just not something they choose to fixate on-- but beomgyu does continue with his flirty comments throughout their conversation, and now that they both know, kai is more inclined to reciprocate with a reply that resembles mutual interest.

the words “even if i don’t have a soulmate” ring in kai’s ears for the rest of the night. sure, kai didn’t have one of the telltale matching tattoos; it had just never formed on his body. but the gods, the spirits, the stars-- whatever happened to be controlling the way the world worked-- kept leading him back to these parties, back to these quiet little spots, and back to beomgyu.

they weren’t soulmates in the traditional sense, no, but kai grows more curious with every moment he spends with the older blonde boy. he begins to question if maybe they were soulmates-- two people connected to one another, two parts of one whole. maybe their destinies, however unconventional they may be, were intertwined as well. 

“do you want to get ice cream?” comes beomgyu’s sudden question later that night, his eyes gleaming under the starlight while he asks.

kai’s breath gets caught in his throat. all he musters out is a weak nod of agreement, and beomgyu is immediately standing up, holding out his hand to the younger boy.

“i know the best place. i’ll even treat you--” the blonde continues, beaming with excitement. “--as a thank you for tonight, and for everything. come on, hyuka.”

kai grins at that, glancing at his phone screen to confirm that yes, it was eleven o’clock at night and they were now going to an ice cream parlor. 

“maybe the universe did something right after all,” kai remarks while beomgyu pulls him up. “i get free ice cream out of coming out with you.”

the tinkling chuckle that escapes beomgyu’s mouth after that is sweeter than any piece of music that kai has ever played in his many years of experience-- and it’s startling, but it’s a melody that kai learns to welcome in the coming weeks.

\--

kai still vividly remembers the series of moments in the coming months in which he fell in love with beomgyu. he can recall everything-- from dates and times to things as little as the color of shirt that the older blonde was wearing on a specific outing. while the younger boy doesn’t deem these details to be too relevant, especially not nowadays, what kai will point out from this particular point in time was the exhilaration running through his body, the smiles never leaving his face, and that warm feeling rising in his bright red, blushing cheeks that persisted even after beomgyu had stopped examining the younger boy so intensely.

kai truly had never considered himself to be a pessimist-- despite his bashful demeanor and the plethora of dismal songs he had written, he was a generally untroubled guy; taehyun would certainly vouch for him on that. still, kai understands how he could come off as somewhat of a cynic to strangers who dubbed him to be a walking stereotype: the quiet music major who spent his days locked in his own dorm or in the plethora of practice rooms scattered across campus. it wasn’t the full truth, and kai hated examining the world with such a black and white viewpoint, but he sees how people could make this assumption. not having a soulmate didn’t exactly help his case though, and if there was anything kai struggled to be truly positive about-- before beomgyu, of course-- it was just that. but things soon became different.

because kai starts wondering if maybe beomgyu was right-- just because the universe didn’t specify who _the one_ would be for him didn’t have to mean that he was destined to have no one. no, he could still have everything that those with soulmates had, he would just have to lead himself down the path to find such a person (taehyun would jokingly point out that he brought kai to said parties, but that was a fickle detail to the youngest boy). and so far, even with the universe seemingly having no plans for his love life, kai thinks it’s going quite alright. 

for once, kai lets himself have a little more faith, because how could he not when beomgyu looked at him like that?

\--

and it takes four months, four months for beomgyu and kai to formally get together. they start off by merely going on more outings that soon turn into real dates, and before either of them know it, they’re both popping the question (on the exact same day, after they had finished a date) about officially becoming boyfriends. neither of them were seeing anyone else at the time, but they both wanted to make their exclusivity written in stone (quite literally in fact, considering that both beomgyu and kai had gifted each other presents with their birthstones for a one month anniversary present-- beomgyu had received a pair of aquamarine earrings and kai had gotten a peridot crystal necklace); it had just felt special for them to do so.

kai bounds back to his dorm room after that day, a large grin on his face. yeonjun and taehyun are there, cuddling on taehyun’s bed as per usual, when kai slams the door shut.

“beomgyu and i are boyfriends,” kai announces giddily.

taehyun looks up. “and that’s supposed to be news to me?” he teases, but there’s a fond smile growing on his face. 

kai gives his best and most petulant pout in response, looking for one of his two friends to dutifully placate him. “you’re so mean! at least show some interest in my love life.”

“kai, sweetheart, that’s not what he means,” yeonjun pipes up. “we just already know that you guys are boyfriends; we have known for months now. it’s quite obvious.”

“okay, but it’s official now. like, _officially_ official,” kai interjects, stressing his words. 

“it makes no difference,” taehyun rolls his eyes. “you guys were basically always that. both of you are absolutely smitten,” the shorter boy says, untangling himself from yeonjun so that he can stand up.

“but i’m happy for you,” taehyun finishes, crossing the room so that he can throw his arms around kai’s neck. “you deserve this. you deserve this so much, hyuka.”

kai almost breaks down right there, but instead, he just resolves to laugh and pull his best friend closer to his chest. yeonjun watches them from afar for a moment, a grin breaking out on the oldest boy’s face at the sweet moment developing before him. kai eventually calls yeonjun over, and the three of them hug in the middle of him and taehyun’s cramped freshman dorm room until the oldest boy snorts and they all dissolve into a fit of laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! beomkaists, i hope i'm keeping you at least somewhat fed with this story. beomkai really do deserve more fics (i adore them) and i just hope that my contribution to their tag is enjoyable. <3
> 
> take care everyone, okay? try to stay healthy and safe! i wish you all the best. come chat with me in the comments or on my twitter if you'd like!
> 
> twitter: [@DECALCOMONlA](https://www.twitter.com/DECALCOMONlA)
> 
> p.s. kenos is the word for someone without a soulmate in this universe. it just means empty / vain / devoid of truth in greek!


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